Skip to main content

Recap and resolutions

2017 recap!
• completed the remaining 3 blocks of pre-clinical phase which was stressful. My daily routine involves reading notes and asking what the hell am I doing with my life (I still do that).

• In July, I took my first professional exam and what made it memorable was the fact that the whole batch passed and no one is left behind in pre-clinical phase for yet another year. I cried a lot during this period because I was too scared of failing the exam, I was afraid of disappointing my parents, I was just a mess. Mind you, it was not the kind of cry where tears rolled down my cheek, it was the ugly sobbing kind till I found it hard to breathe.

• This was the first raya without my Inak (grandma). It felt so different, I ugly sobbed while reading Yassin after the Eid prayers.(yes I was such a huge emotional ball just waiting to erupt anywhere anytime lol).

• Started clinical year on August. Those were life-changing moment because it was something that I look forward to. Turns out, it is much harder than pre-clinical years. All those clinical features, investigation results, pathophysiology that you memorized now has to be applied to understand the disease and to have an idea on the management principle.

Apart from academic related stuff, I discovered a lot more about myself. Some of it were qualities that I developed over the years, some were unpleasant bits that I need to change.

Lately I feel like I have been spiritually low. I watched Aida Azlin's video last night which made me reflect on my prayers quality. In between the busy schedule, chasing to go to OT or wanting to get that extra 10 minutes sleep, I often rush through my solat. Because being exhausted is my default mode nowadays, I found it hard to wake up for night prayers. I have to drag myself to read quran at least once in two days. Sometimes I delay my Isha' prayers up to 5.15 in the morning and on days where my alarm was just another sound in my dream, I missed it. I feel like at this age, those obligation shouldn't be taken lightly so I was disappointed with myself.

2018 resolution: Pray early, improve spiritual relationship with god.

My ignorance which I have always considered a bliss before, is now a quality that I despise. It has been my defense mechanism to get through stuff in life but I think it has to stop now. I'm mostly oblivious to my surroundings. I became less sensitive, and treat people as if they too would excuse my behaviour.
2018 resolution: Be more sensitive and care genuinely.

Seeing patients have exposed me to a lot of good and evil that exist in our world.
2018 resolution: Be kind and try to be more understanding.

My spending habit needs to change. I need to stop buying lipstick. I used up the NYX simply nude lipcream in the shade Sable and immediately bought another lipstick because I'm a piece of shit who has no self-control (seriously this needs to stop Nabilah!)
2018 resolution : We'll see...... Because, what if I need another mauvy or brown lipstick that has a different undertone but looks similar anyways. Right?

Happy New Year pepol! 2017 has been a great year. I am blessed with great family, superb friends, amazing lecturers, inspiring doctors and awesome nurses who were always kind to teach us; the extra pair of lungs in the ward. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

2018 is going to be THE YEAR, I can feel it. I wish you all happiness and may this year become a year where we continue to improve on ourselves and achieves more personal goal. What is your new year resolutions?


Popular posts from this blog

The art of what matters;

" It's easier to sit in a painful certainty that nobody would find you attractive or that nobody appreciates your talent than to actually test those beliefs and find out for sure".

A few months ago I responded to an advertisement that is looking for medical student who could write. I gave the person a message and we even had a conversation where she explained about how they are going to provide source, give deadline and how they pay for each writing job that I'll agree to. A week after that, she called and I purposely didn't pick up the call. Why? Well in my defense, it was one of the busiest week in our posting. But to be completely honest, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it. So I retreated back to the comfort of my life and just pretend that I could have done it but I choose not to. Did I regret my decision? Back then no, but as I'm writing this I wonder how long is this going to last simply because I refuse to try for fear of not being able …

Skincare routine

Skincare was a very strange concept to me as my mother (who is blessed with good skin genes) always emphasize that putting products on your face would exaggerate unwanted reactions. She was right to a certain extent, if you use unverified products (read; skincare that claims to whiten your complexion in 2 days) then in the long run it would damage your skin. I used to think skincare is such a girly thing to do. Back in high school until my foundation years, I never bothered using toner, moisturizer or even sunscreen! Life was so simple back then, I cleanse my face, let it dry and hope to God that acne would stop invading my face. Who would've thought now I have to wake up early to make sure the sunscreen sit on my face for a solid 20 minutes before going out of the room.

My skin is dry and sensitive. I concluded its sensitive as I can't use products with fragrance without developing rash. Certain products I have tried in the past leaves a tingling sensation especiall…

#PulangMengundi and merepek sikit

As soon as the date for General Election 14 was announced, people started to voice out their concern. For first time voters especially students its not easy to allocate money for transportation. Money is tight for me. Scholarship is not banked in yet and asking for flight ticket money seems so odd in this frugal situation. I saw #PulangMengundi on Twitter which was initiated by a noble and kind-hearted fellow Malaysian made to help each other especially students to go back to their hometown and vote. I am so overwhelmed by this kind gesture because never in a million year would I ever dream of someone sponsoring my ticket back home. Its just too good to be true, and good things doesn't come by that often for me. It is so moving to see people unite, regardless of religion, race, and political view. I hope someday I would be able to be on the giving side. Faith in Malaysian humanity: restored.

What comes next was history, my family and I stayed up late watching AWANI…