Skip to main content

Pre-exam anxious ramble;

       Often, when you're worried and express your worries, the people around will reassure that you can do it. In fact, they express confidently that you will be fine, you will be able to answer and pass  with flying colours.

Sometimes it makes me feel as if my worries are irrelevant. 
As if my worries are not legit.
No one knows how worried you are deep inside when you say you're worried. No one knows how scared you are of the future.Everyone sees the brighter side but you can only see the darker side.The side that holds the insecurities,worries,anxiety.The side that keeps us laying awake at night.

Its so hard to believe that you can do it, let alone convincing yourself that you will get through this. Its a constant battle and you tell yourself everyday that you're going to make it. For once I would love to see myself from another person's point of view so I could believe in myself.
      In a weird way, exam has its own way of bringing us closer to Him. Our prayers became longer, we started doing the sunat prayers as well as observing our relationship with Him and to the people around. This is the time when your reliance in Him is multiplied. And surprisingly,at some point you feel like you're finally in peace with your own mind. But the downside to it, is the amount of stuff you have to read and the stress that comes in a package. 
      Tomorrow is the end of block 3 examination (why am I here writing things?!?!?!?) Please pray for me and my friends,thank you. xx 
       
      

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tasik Biru Ibam daytrip

Today my friends and I went to Bandar Muadzam Shah a town located about 100km from Kuantan. Awa came up with the idea on a mundane Monday morning while we were both beaten up by the freezing lecture hall and the Monday blues. We planned on visiting the so called "New Zealand" which gained its name due to the greenish scenery and the Tasik Biru Ibam. We're not really adventurous so knowing that it doesn't require much effort to reach the blue lake, is a huge relief (well at least for me).


The drive to Bandar Muadzam Shah took us around two and a half hour. Traffic was clear but the road itself is not in the best condition. From Bandar Muadzam Shah I think we drove for another 15 minutes before reaching Bukit Ibam, the exact location of Tasik Biru or the blue lake.The Blue Lake is actually an old mining site. It is said that the aesthetically pleasing blue colour is a result of copper sulphate sedimentation. No one knows the real depth or what makes the lake e…

Reality

"I am so scared of losing people that matters to me. As much as I understand that everyone will eventually leave this world, I couldn't bear the thoughts of not being able to see someone ever again. Because I am selfish and losing someone forever scares me so much.
My grandma (inak) has been admitted to the hospital yesterday. She complained that her body is aching. The doctor said there is electrolyte imbalance in her body. A sign of renal failure as it can no longer regulate the electrolyte. Her ECG showed myocardial infarction, she is dependent on oxygen mask now. Her blood pressure is fluctuating but is on the low side. It seems like her health is deteriorating even further compared to this morning.

Being away from home, I couldn't do anything but pray. Prayer transcends the distance, prayer is the only thing that helps to put my mind at ease. I couldn't concentrate on what I was studying. My first reaction when my dad sent pictures of …

Two different world ;

"When your parents got married where were you, Nabilah?"
The 4 year old me without hesitation answered
"I was in front of the pelamin, watching. Didn't you notice I was there?".

Of course my answer did not make any sense. The adults love asking me that question over and over again. Younger me noticed that they love my quirky responses so I change the answer every now and then. Sometimes I would say I was handing the bunga telur, on some days I would say I was the flowergirl. The adults (mostly my mom's colleagues) would compliment me saying I'm smart. The younger me basked in compliments and doesn't even try hiding it.
I suck at a lot of things, especially writing intros so I hope that was interesting enough for you to not close this tab 😂.

I recently read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I noticed that a lot of issues discussed in the book rings true in my parents' situation. Women and men are di…