Skip to main content

Beyond compare;

   I am one of those people who always have something to compare myself to other person. This is the part of me that I wish to remove from myself and I am still working on it. Try walking among a group of girls who is having a conversations, Chances are they are comparing themselves with another person.
  " Untungla muka flawless"
 "Untungla famous dapat freegift dari InstaShops"
 " kau pandai tak ape la selalu outing pun"
    These are a few examples of what I often hear and I might not or I might be guilty of saying these words too...
     When we compare ourselves with other person, we are encouraging ourselves to be competitive for no absolute reason. If we're not careful enough it might turn into hasad (envy). We forgot about all the blessings that we have; health, family, good friends etc. It encourages us to be less grateful when we actually have too much to be grateful about. Worst case scenario is, we will turn ourselves into a hating machine who hates on others at every opportunity. Negativity looms within ourselves and without realising it we became this grumpy young adult who thinks that life is being unfair to him/her.
      In high school, I was a fairly competitive person. I was always aiming for the top 10 if not top 5 in my batch's ranking. It wasn't long until I realise that high school life or life itself is too short to care about those things. Five or ten years from now,it all won't matter as much so there's no point in torturing myself wishing I could be smarter. Since then, I suppressed any jealousy that re-surfaces whenever my friend get their good marks etc. I learned to be genuinely happy for them because that is the least thing a friend could do for her friend. Most importantly, I learned to be grateful for my own share of blessings.
       I used to have this perception that maybe if I am a little bit smarter, a little bit funnier, a little bit on the pretty side then maybe life would become easier. But I forgot that everyone has a different set of life to live. No life are similar to each other and hoping to lead a life without potholes and paved in Technicolour bricks is as absurd as wishing you would live a different life.
       Maybe it's time for us to be more accepting and to love ourself for what we have and the things that we don't have.

We are fortunate enough
We are blessed enough
The key is to be content of what we have.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tasik Biru Ibam daytrip

Today my friends and I went to Bandar Muadzam Shah a town located about 100km from Kuantan. Awa came up with the idea on a mundane Monday morning while we were both beaten up by the freezing lecture hall and the Monday blues. We planned on visiting the so called "New Zealand" which gained its name due to the greenish scenery and the Tasik Biru Ibam. We're not really adventurous so knowing that it doesn't require much effort to reach the blue lake, is a huge relief (well at least for me).


The drive to Bandar Muadzam Shah took us around two and a half hour. Traffic was clear but the road itself is not in the best condition. From Bandar Muadzam Shah I think we drove for another 15 minutes before reaching Bukit Ibam, the exact location of Tasik Biru or the blue lake.The Blue Lake is actually an old mining site. It is said that the aesthetically pleasing blue colour is a result of copper sulphate sedimentation. No one knows the real depth or what makes the lake e…

Reality

"I am so scared of losing people that matters to me. As much as I understand that everyone will eventually leave this world, I couldn't bear the thoughts of not being able to see someone ever again. Because I am selfish and losing someone forever scares me so much.
My grandma (inak) has been admitted to the hospital yesterday. She complained that her body is aching. The doctor said there is electrolyte imbalance in her body. A sign of renal failure as it can no longer regulate the electrolyte. Her ECG showed myocardial infarction, she is dependent on oxygen mask now. Her blood pressure is fluctuating but is on the low side. It seems like her health is deteriorating even further compared to this morning.

Being away from home, I couldn't do anything but pray. Prayer transcends the distance, prayer is the only thing that helps to put my mind at ease. I couldn't concentrate on what I was studying. My first reaction when my dad sent pictures of …

Two different world ;

"When your parents got married where were you, Nabilah?"
The 4 year old me without hesitation answered
"I was in front of the pelamin, watching. Didn't you notice I was there?".

Of course my answer did not make any sense. The adults love asking me that question over and over again. Younger me noticed that they love my quirky responses so I change the answer every now and then. Sometimes I would say I was handing the bunga telur, on some days I would say I was the flowergirl. The adults (mostly my mom's colleagues) would compliment me saying I'm smart. The younger me basked in compliments and doesn't even try hiding it.
I suck at a lot of things, especially writing intros so I hope that was interesting enough for you to not close this tab 😂.

I recently read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I noticed that a lot of issues discussed in the book rings true in my parents' situation. Women and men are di…