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Showing posts from 2015

Sugar, spice and factor X;

December 2015, and Nabilah is still described as this fierce and angry person. What's worse than the two adjectives is the fact that it comes from someone who barely spoke any words to you.  It usually doesn't get to me, but this comment somehow initiated an interesting topic to write (blame it all on cortisol!).
       Isn't it great to be an idea that everyone likes? To be a person who fits into all the good labels; well-mannered, smiles at strangers, "lemah-lembut" etc. I wanted to be one, I really do because hearing people say things about you cuts like a paper; you didn't notice it at first but it's there.
     I have always been that person with a not so good vibe. The one that is frowned upon by many people for not having a warm welcoming smile, the one who have a "resting bitch face syndrome", the one who looks cocky etc I'm sure you're getting the picture now. Whatever.
       Long past were the times when I seek for appro…

Spinning in wonderland;

If you ask me when I was 17 years old, never in a million years would I ever thought that I'm going to take medicine. I never dreamed of being a medic student and have all these facts and stress presented to me. My dear friend once said "you're living the life that I imagined living but Allah has another plan for me and I believe in Him". Upon hearing this, I knew I should always be grateful for many of us were not given the privilege to be in this field.
       It feels surreal, living among students who could fully focus from the moment class begins at 8 am until it ends at 4pm. There are bright students who could instantly understand and memorize facts and then there's me ; the one that have to read 3-4 times before fully understanding and memorising the main concept. Stress becomes my daily fix nowadays, and to be honest there are times when I don't feel like continuing this anymore. Yes, that's what medic school and medic students did to me.

The letter from 15 years old me

On my fifteenth birthday I wrote a letter to be opened by the 20 years old me.I waited five years for this, I am glad I didn't clumsily throw it away while I pack my things for college last month!! So here goes what my 15 years old said to the 20 years me.

Dear 20 years old Nabilah,

      If you are reading this, it means that you somehow managed to keep this letter for five years. Pat your back right now because I am so damn proud of you :'). Keep on reading and don't act as if you can't read this handwriting because believe me dear self, this is all yours.
       By now you should be in university. I hope you made it but even if you don't it's okay (but what are you going to do though??!!). I wish by now you have discovered your ambition. You should forget about being a lawyer because you can't control your emotions. God knows what you would do if you really are to become a lawyer. You're good with Maths maybe by the time you're reading this …

The bittersweet day

Today is a very tiring day for me both physically and emotionally. Yes, UNGS short semester is now completed and I am thankful for that. But the process of removing things to the new room in the next mahallah was a very tiring experience!!! Who am I to complain though, at least we don't have to carry that much of a load on 2nd September (yeaaayy).
      I feel like I have been riding a roller coaster of emotions today. I started my day with the anxiety of not being able to answer well, the gratitude upon finding out the questions are not that hard, gratitude coz I don't have to wait till 2pm to start the evacuation process, the gratitude for yummy foods haf's mom made, and then the roller coaster started going downhill. The bas moved like a tortoise on the Pantai Timur highway. It took us 2 hours to reach Temerloh RnR. YESS!!! THAT SLOW!
I honestly couldn't sleep on the bus thinking about how am I going to make it to airport on time.
      At 7.30 we reached Hent…


Truth be told, I almost forgot about the existence of this blog because I am such a lazy writer. As of today, something happened and I think it's quite interesting to write something out of it.
       I called my dad on the afternoon, wanting to chat about random things that happened to me and it was mommy who picked his phone. She said she's waiting in the car while my dad transfers some money for me. I was quite shocked, because my dad has transferred some money on Tuesday ( which is just about three days ago). I asked my dad why do he have to send me more money when he just did it three days ago and his reply makes me tear up a bit.
  " I am insecure whenever the money in your account doesn't reach the amount that I think would be sufficient for you. I know how it feels to be away from home and without money to compensate for the distant love of family. I don't want you to starve yourself just because you don't have enough money to buy foods. I've…

Foundation 101

It has been quite some time since I last write anything for this blog. *tiup the dusty blog's surface*. Life has been ok as usual and I am proud to let you guys know that I am now starting a new phase in my life. I AM GETTING MARRIED !!! ok tipu haha. I have finished my 2 long years of foundation in CFS IIUM and is currently taking a short semester to complete UNGS at IIUM Kuantan. Yezzaa that's right; no more rant about Gambang the isolated town.
          I am going to share some tips on how I survive foundation years . oh by the way, I get accepted to do my first degree; MBBS in IIUM (of course I'm an ex-CFS student duhh) haha. I don't feel qualified to do so but that doesn't mean I wont. So here it goes .......

Start looking for friends
     For me, this is crucial because I need friends to survive thanks to the SBP system I am immensely attached to my friends. I think most of us will experience separation from their BFFs or BF(s) once we set our foot to t…


Is it the explosion of colours
that draw you closer?
Artificial shades of modesty,
drawn on the cheekbone canvas
to compensate for the lost modesty,
or for the lack thereof,
to obliterate harsh judgements,
made by those who sees nothing
but flaws and imperfections stitched together,
failing to see the values that can neither be tarnished nor corroded.

Did I just write that? Yes Nabilah you did. I decided to rant because when you can't sleep at 3.30 am thoughts came overflowing your mind.

      You'll never believe the amount of time we spent wishing to have a flawless skin,cursing and even blaming water,food,and hormones for being the culprit behind breakouts. Why is that so? Because having breakouts on your face is definitely not beautiful, according to the standard of beauty set by majority Earth's population. In fact,I myself is among one of those who spend times standing in front of the mirror scrutinising and wishing I have magic power to remove all blackheads and pim…

Personal story time!

I was taken aback by this one dream I had this morning. I know it's just my brain doing her job by sorting out informations but still, I was shaken to my core. Who would've thought even after all these years it still hurts? (No, this is not a love story or anything cheesy) . Life has it's own way of reminding us about the previous encounters we have had in life. It comes unexpected and as soon as it hits, it reveals back all the pain that you thought you have left behind. You were so confident that it will not haunt you back and you could live a life, free from all the annoyance and all the unpleasant things. Wrong. You should never underestimate the influence of your experiences as it moulds you into the person you are now. Life's greatest experience doesn't necessarily comes with rainbows and unicorn. For all I know, it could be sent down in the form of thunder and bitterness.         When I was in highschool, I became a laughing stock for a group of people …


Being on social media gives you access to a lot of unnecessary and insignificant things. There are myriad ways of humiliating people and most of it happens on social media. Why? Because we are a nation of judgemental person. Putting the blame on someone else, degrading someone and humiliating people who have different point of views is what we do best. Unfortunately,we are inheriting the ultimate characteristics of our society who judge everything on their sight. Yes,"the society" that we are blaming is composed of me,you and everyone else which makes us a significant part of "the society" that we claimed as bad. We are the bad,the messed up society.
    It is not surprising that we became a judgemental person despite the amount of denial we put in to convince ourselves that we are non-judgemental. Let's admit it,there are times when you feel like you're the only person who's right and worse of all,you started looking ,magnifying and even putting p…

Ambition-less girl caught up in her dreams

There's so much thing going on in my right life now and I feel the need to be better,more than anything else I have wanted in my life. I feel the need to do something remarkable throughout my life. I am not even 20 yet I am being so hard on myself. I am the harshest critique I ever encountered. Maybe I am being a tad bit too harsh but if I don't be one,my life will be a hot mess.
      One of the thing that has been possessing the throne in my head is about what kind of person will I be as I grow older and wiser(Hopefully). I know for a fact that a degree in medicine is something that I want. Let's face the truth,I am no good in Chemistry,Physics or even Mathematics. I am not that good in Biology related thing but this is something that piqued my interest. I love learning about physiology and how human body works in general. I could say that it's one of my passion. I know that this is what I want to do with my life but I am worried about many things that I started seco…

Money talk and how I started saving

Hey everyone (perasan ada reader ),
 Since I am under caffeine, I've figured that I might not sleep the whole night so I decided to write something. Caffeine has a strong effect on me. My preference of coffee is either Nescafe or Starbucks. I tried coffee from The Coffee Bean once,it was a horrendous experience for me. My head felt like it would explode from the dizziness right after drinking a few sips. Any caffeinated drinks even tea could keep me awake at night. Low-caffeine-tolerance 

                                                              My savings so far for 2015

 One of my new year resolution is to save up money. I am a highly-ambitious person unfortunately everything I planned rarely gets executed. Somehow, I always found a reason to dismiss the "ambitious" thought. But 2015 is different, I promised myself this would be my year, Insha Allah.

Responsibility is a huge word and hold and even bigger meaning to me. As much as I would love to spend money on thin…

What we want vs what we need

The decision to create a blog has been haunting me since the day I discovered my passion for writing. I may not be the person who could touch people's heart with their vast vocabularies and beautifully used language. Mind you,I am a typical science student whom use of language is a low 4 on a scale of 1-10 with 10 as the perfect language skill. I tend to write about random things,hence the title of this blog.
On a serious note, this has been one of my 2015 new year's resolution. I know,I know it's a little bit too late but hey as the saying goes it's better late than never!! I want this blog to be a memoir of my life when I get older. I want to look back at all the entry I made and be reminded of all the struggles and my immature thoughts that hopefully would vanish as I grow older,insya Allah.

Enough about the boring introduction then.

let's talk about something else of equal importance

You don't have the power to change whatever Allah has planned for you as Hi…